I said goodbye to my last boozey drink on December 8, 2003.
Yes. I have not touched a drop since then…and I never wanted to.
I believe I came into the world alcoholically prone and the anxiety that followed me from adolescence to adulthood cried for a chemical solution before there really were any.
So I drank.
I drank to fill the hole, to calm the nerves, to make everything (including me) feel special….it left me the next morning always reaching for the next high.
I knew I had to stop…even during an abusive marriage and a total career revamp AND relocation…I knew I had to stop during the loss of all 3 of my beloved grandparents in the span of 3 years…I drank..and drank. Every single night.
On the day I was done, I had help. I needed accountability and structure and support. I had help. As a performer I had spent a lot of time in bars and clubs and I was scared at how I could do it sober. Really scared…
Then something amazing happened. I walked into my first gig as a sober woman and I looked around at all the people drinking and laughing…and I realized “I never drank like that. I drank to numb and shut out…I drank because I could not stop once I started. Most in this room drinking here tonight, they are relaxed and drinking socially. Big difference.”
It relieved me enough to give one of the best performances I ever gave…I thought alcohol made me a better more exciting performer but it just made me sloppy.
People used to ask, “is it okay for me to drink around you?” and I loved being able to smile and say YES! I don’t use it anymore. Enjoy yourself. Life is lighter now…brighter now…
and I am so grateful for my sobriety.
As a booze free woman, I met and married my husband and gave birth to my beloved daughter. As a booze free woman I created my own online business that continues to grow and serve …because I am focused and passionate about helping women gain their own freedom. I know better than most, the chains of imprisonment…in an addiction…in a marriage… in a stifled voice…in an unfulfilling career.
My journey still serves… and I am grateful. much love to YOU.