I have WANDERLUST.
I feel most alive in motion and by that I absolutely don’t mean exercising. I mean moving and living in motion between different places. For many years, I half believed I must have been a circus baby that somehow ended up with the family of homebody’s that I call my own.
I love them – and I am so so very different from them.
I grew up in a log home in the mountains and my dad was a veterinarian and outdoorsman and my mom was a stay at home mom. They all loved the outdoors and quiet spaces …and wooden things. While I spent most of my childhood dreaming I was in the city and holding a hairbrush for a microphone and giving concerts to the stuffed deer heads on the wall across from my loft bedroom balcony (which was my stage).As long as I can remember, I have always felt a need to see new places and people and feel it ALL. My parents and even my husband – they just don’t have that need. I grew up thinking there must be something wrong with me- why can’t I just be content to stay here? Live here? Sit. STILL?
When I married my husband and moved into a little farm I tried to be like him because I thought I needed to quell that wanderlust in me and just be content staying around the farm, performing music locally and working nearby at a spa. But I was fooling myself.
I finally realized that God did not make me that way and to pretend I am anyone else is a lie.
To me, thinking of staying home for the majority of my life with a week or two of travel each year felt like a prison sentence. Sort of like when I was working in an office and had to dress the part of corporate sales director (i.e. business suit) I felt like I had been forcibly shoved into a straightjacket. I could not move.To me, my need for motion is the same as my need for air and music.
When I tell myself to ignore that need, what I am really doing is ignoring what God has put in my heart. And when I do that, I get frustrated, the people I love don’t get the best of me and the pesky anxiety rears up. Because motion can take many forms and if we dont give our essence an outlet things go south.Finally, in my forties I now give myself permission to be who I really am and even more to LOVE who I really am.
I love movement- and brownies- and pretty teacups- and celebrating Dia De Los Muertos like in Coco.
I love Disney (that may be an understatement) and my daughter’s hair smell on a sweaty day and my little mini dachshunds yawn breath when he first wakes up.I love that I am a Traveling GypsyHeart made to move and sing and dance and see and eat and love and MOVE again.
And I am glad you are here with me because all of this brings me to you. I hope and intend that reading this lets you pause and question how you can live your life in alignment with who you REALLY are. As someone who has made a business out of coaching women to successfully monetize their passion- I have been blogging about that…and business…and being true to yourself.
But I realize now there is a different way to do that from my heart even more deeply…maybe even more profoundly.
I think we are all just a little bit tired of the PUSH and the Perfect Shiny Happy People syndrome.
SO I’m going to write about everything I may have been omitting in my own shiny happy posts. Life- as it happens– why we all are in this together and why YOU matter…my latest trip or maybe what I make for dinner as all things Kitchen is also a passion of mine- I read cookbooks and travel books like a juicy novel….I digress.
Just let me say this to you: You being here matters.
Just like I matter. And Heck yes lets have goals and dreams and lets go for them – and still enjoy where we are right now…together.
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