*Carolan has performed in concert with Martina McBride and other major acts. She also receives airplay internationally, had 2 songs chart in Top 50 of ECMA and has been mentioned in New York Times. Carolan has written articles on healing, music and wellness that have been published in various magazines.*

My Story:

Hello! I am so glad you are here. Let me tell you a little about myself and what led to CarolanDeacon.com. I am a professional vocalist ,writer, wife to a wonderful man and mother to a precious daughter.  I am also someone who has struggled with anxiety, depression and addiction for most of my life. My journey has taught me some profound things along my road to peace. I want to share them with you.

Music has always been the joy and comfort in my life. Performing was the only time I felt truly alive. From my first time on stage as a professional vocalist, I craved more. More excitement, more praise and more of the alcohol that went with the party atmosphere. More, more, more! Nothing was ever enough to fill me up or quiet the fearful thoughts in my mind.

Over the next few years, I moved to Nashville for my music. I was welcomed warmly by some of Nashville’s major players in the music business and I gave concerts with some major acts. My songs received some airplay in the States and more airplay in Europe and Australia. Even with these opportunities rolling me forward, I had become habituated towards painful self-destruction and I didn‘t even know it.

Both stints in Nashville ended abruptly after a few months. This was because the panic attacks and shaky hands with which I’d suffered had gotten so debilitating, I could not leave my apartment or drive a car. I had used pharmaceuticals, alcohol, food and cigarettes to ease my mental pain for many years. I finally realized that none of those things helped, they only made me feel worse. I had hit my rock bottom. Alone and ill, I asked God for help and guidance.
And help arrived. I became able to change my lifestyle. I laid down the crutches one by one.

Let me tell you, I felt God’s guiding hand on my head as I took each step forward. Leaving behind the only comforts my broken body and mind knew was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I didn’t do it all by myself.  I empowered myself with spiritual music and people. I began studying and practicing holistic health. I learned more about the healing power of music, spoken Word and loving intention through my own personal transformation. This blessed music gave me new eyes to see.

Beautiful transformative music became part of my daily wellness ritual. The vibrational energy of the music changed me. The loving affirmations carried in the songs began permanently replacing years of negative mental chatter. Amazingly, as I began to share my gift of music again in this new light, people would comment afterwards that they felt as if they had been freed from their everyday anxieties and challenges. They would tell me they left my concert feeling more connected to God. Wow.

My mission became clear: to make “harmony” of my life experience and my gifts in a way that serves profoundly. Music was my way out of the dark and I know it has the power to heal anyone.

I am not saying there are no bumps on my path, there are. I used to think that in order for me to feel “normal” and be a truly “good girl” ( I know right?), I would need to be completely serene and content sitting calmly (in a field of poppies of course). I would have no need of a smoke, a drink, a cupcake, a pill, or desire for an unhealthy obsession to grasp onto.

Though I have left my need for the above mentioned things behind in my previous existence, this ‘QUEEN of CALM’ perfect picture hasn’t yet materialized and probably never will. And that is okay. I have realized there is peace in the process and joy in the journey of healing. And I can tell you that I feel soooo much better now in my own skin.

My days have been truly transformed with music. For the most part, I live the life I always dreamed of. I am experiencing life in a way I thought was reserved for everybody else except me: a life filled with love, peace and happiness. I want this for you too. I want this for everyone.

Love and Blessings,

Carolan
‘Feel Better…Now.’
I’d love to hear from you- carolan@carolandeacon.com